


Ashes To Ashes

by LilyAnson



Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Hallucinations, Hurt No Comfort, Pre-Relationship, Sad Ending, honestly i'm sorry for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 06:10:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19223218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyAnson/pseuds/LilyAnson
Summary: Sometimes time runs out.  While chasing a suspect through the rain Hardy notices a gunman taking aim at Miller.  Diving in front of her he pulls out his own gun and shoots the man.  While he managed to hit the suspect it wasn't quick enough to stop the man from getting off a shot of his own.





	Ashes To Ashes

_At first all he could register was that he couldn’t breathe. With his heart condition he was used to that feeling. It took him several moments longer than it should have to remember why that was no longer a factor. He almost started to feel relieved before he realized he was soaking wet. No, he thought to himself. Water was never good. He shouldn’t be this wet unless… well, unless he was taking a shower. Maybe that was it._

_Carefully he tested his arms. He was horrified to find his arms heavy. He should feel better that he could know he was dreaming but something was wrong. Sadly he couldn’t place just what was off. He knew his dreams. Weight in his arms meant it was another dream about carrying Pippa out of the river, didn’t it?_

.

“Hardy!” Ellie screamed. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare die on me! Not now!”

The rain continued to pour down on them as she continued to pound on his chest. Tears continued to stream unbidden from her eyes. There was no way this could be happening. Alec was too much of a right bastard to be dying now. No, he had to live. He just had to.

“Hardy!” she yelled once again.

.

_Glancing down he frowned. Normally when he had dreams like these he could see her body in his arms. It was completely the opposite of how things happened. Originally he hadn’t been able to see anything. The rain, the river, -and yes- his own tears had completely obscured his vision at the time. Still, usually his dreams tormented him with visions of her body. This time the rain obscured his vision. He couldn’t seem to focus his vision well enough._

_That wasn’t right. Where was Miller? She would make sense of everything. Miller always made everything make sense for him. So prevalent was she in his thoughts that he didn’t even stop to wonder how she would know about his dreams. He just knew she would be able to fix this. Everything would be fine if he could just find her._

.

“No, he’s not!” Ellie shouted. “He’s hurt and you can fix that! That’s your job!”

“DS Miller-” the other began.

Ellie hadn’t bothered to retain the name. It didn’t matter. What mattered what Alec was hurt and these people were medical professionals. It was their job to fix these kinds of things.

.

_Alec opened his mouth but it was instantly filled with rainwater. Spitting it out he tried again and again to speak but his mouth only filled with rainwater once more. No, he thought. Just no. This couldn’t be happening. He needed to find someway to reach out to Miller. She would fix things. She would make this right._

.

“I’m sorry but at least he-”

“Alec!” Ellie yelled. “He has a name!”

“Alec,” the medic agreed. “Of course.” 

It didn’t matter. He was only placating her and she knew it. 

.

_The pressure on his chest increased and Alec could hardly breathe; or rather, not at all truth be told. He wasn’t sure how long it’d been since he had last taken a breath but he somehow knew it’d been too long. He should be breathing more often shouldn’t he? Shoving those thoughts out of his mind he tried to focus. He didn’t need to reason about little things like that. That’s why he had Miller. She’d focus on those pesky little details he hated._

.

She couldn’t move. Why should she? These people were doing nothing to help Alec and so he needed her. Right, she thought. If they wouldn’t help Alec then how could she possibly leave him? Oh God, he was bleeding so much. Maybe if she could just stop the blood he would be alright? She had to try.

.

_Daisy. He needed to tell Miller about Daisy. He frowned at that. Or tried. She already knew about Daisy, didn’t she. He wanted to scoff at that. How was there anything that Miller didn’t know. Of course she knew about Daisy. But did she know to protect her? That was the real question, wasn’t it? He wanted to scoff again. The very idea that Miller would ever meet a child that she wouldn’t protect? Of course she’d take care of Daisy._

_Ellie, he reminded himself. Her first name was Ellie. A name he didn’t allow himself to use least he become too familiar and fall. After Tess he could definitely not allow himself to fall for anyone else. Still, if there was anyone he could’ve trusted… Ellie, he thought again. It was a pretty name if nothing else. That thought alone made him want to cringe. He shouldn’t be thinking these thoughts. Least of all about a coworker; a subordinate no less. Was the pressure on his chest lessening?_

.

“No,” Ellie whispered.

There was no way he could be gone.

“He’s lost too much blood,” someone else was saying.

Ellie glanced down to the hole under her hands. Slowly she moved them. Her arms were stiff from the pressure she’d been applying. The blood that oozed from his torso peculated through sluggishly. Her hands and arms were burgundy. Was that truly all from Alec’s blood? It didn’t seem possible that he should have lost that much. 

Of course not, she reminded herself. No one could lose that much and still be alive. So that meant… Alec was… No, she denied. There was no way. Not Alec. If there was anyone who could survive something like this and be a right bastard afterward it was him.

.

_Did he ever tell her how he felt, Alec wondered. No, he supposed not. Yet one more thing he’d failed at. He’d tried but in the end he knew it wasn’t enough. But maybe that was for the best. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt her as much when he was gone? He wasn’t sure. Not because he hadn’t metaphorically spilled his guts, no. He just wasn’t sure that Ellie losing anyone would ever be okay. It would always hurt her. At that moment he wanted nothing more than to live if for no other reason than he knew his Miller. She’d blame herself and that wasn’t right. He wanted to tell her it was his own stupid fault._

.

“Miller.”

“No!” she denied again. “He’s not dead, he can’t be!”

“It’s not your fault and there was nothing you could have done,” someone murmured.

“No!” she shouted back. “No it’s not. It was his own stupid fault and he… he…”

“You have to let us take him now,” the other person whispered. 

“He’s not dead, he can’t be!” Ellie disagreed.

.

_I’ll miss you Ellie, Alec thought. It was his last thought before slipping into the blackness of unconsciousness. There was so much he wanted, needed, to tell her. In the end that was the only thought in his mind. I’ll miss you. Somehow that was more important than anything else. I’ll miss…_

.

During the funeral it was raining on them once again. The dark clouds and stormy weather perfectly suited her mood. Alec had died to protect her. While she could understand his actions it didn't make it hurt any less. It still felt as if it were her somehow fault. She might know better mentally but that didn't make her feel any less guilty. If she had been paying better attention... If she had noticed the other man sooner... If she had reacted faster... A clap of thunder sounded, breaking into her grim thoughts.

“... Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, looking for that blessed hope when the Lord Himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God, and the dead in Christ shall rise first.”

Ellie stopped listening. Alec would hate this, was her only thought. Alec would never want anything this… superficial was the only word that came to mind. And really, wasn’t that what it was? She would have called the thoughts blasphemous if they were for anyone else. But somehow Alec was different. 

Sniffling she turned her gaze to the child in black off to the side. Daisy, she reminded herself. She had to take care of her. No not for Alec. For herself. Alec had saved her life the very least she could do was to protect his child. In that moment she vowed Daisy would never want for a protector. Daisy would be her family as much as her own sons. It was the least she could do now.


End file.
